“Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. ‘What is it you want?’ he asked. She said, ‘Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.’” Matthew 20:20-21
Dear Jesus, How easy it is for me to see the vanity in others and overlook my own. It was audacious for James and John’s mother to ask that her sons be elevated with you in eyes of the whole universe. But I know deep down that by nature I am the center of my universe too. I value an experience as good or bad by how it serves me and then my closest loved ones. I ponder most often how I can get ahead and not how I can get behind and serve. I want grace and forgiveness for me but too easily withhold it in my heart from others. I’m embarrassed that I want what that mother wanted for her children. Forgive me for wanting to be king of my life and king in front of others. Give me your servant’s heart that is lost in self forgetfulness. Make me a servant today who leaves the selfish brat in the closet. Amen.
Hurt feelings and vain boasting are the heads and tails of the coin called self intoxications.